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<< This Week in Auto Racing March 12 - 14
Philadelphia, PA (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - While all three of NASCAR's national touring series take a break, the IZOD IndyCar Series and Formula One kick off their 2010 seasons this weekend. IndyCar will run on the streets of Sao Paulo, Brazil for the

<< Cardinals sign TE Becht, two others to one-year deals
Tempe, AZ (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - The Arizona Cardinals inked tight ends Anthony Becht, Stephen Spach and defensive end Jeremy Clark to one-year contracts on Wednesday. Becht played in all 16 games for the Cards last season, including 10 s

<< Southwestern Athletic Conference Tournament Recaps
Shreveport, LA (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - Allen Smith scored 16 points as the Arkansas-Pine Bluff Golden Lions took down the Mississippi Valley State Delta Devils, 69-66 in the first round of the Southwestern Athletic Conference Tournam

<< T'Wolves C Hollins suspended
Minneapolis, MN (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - Minnesota Timberwolves center Ryan Hollins has been suspended by the NBA for two games without pay after an incident on Monday. The third-year pro punched Dallas' DeShawn Stevenson and struck Dirk Nowitzki

Mountain West Conference Tournament Recaps >>
Las Vegas, NV (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - Grant Parker scored 15 points and Michael Lyons added 11 to help Air Force defeat Wyoming, 59-40, in the first round of the Mountain West Conference Tournament. Lyons also grabbed five rebounds and han

IndyCar kicks off season with first-time trip to Brazil >>
Sao Paulo, Brazil (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - Series: IndyCar. Date: Sunday, March 14. Race: Sao Paulo Indy 300. Site: Streets of Sao Paulo. Track: 2.6-mile, 11-turn temporary street circuit. Start Time: 11:00 a.m. (et). Laps: 75. Miles: 195. Television

Rams re-sign TE Fells >>
St. Louis, MO (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - The St. Louis Rams re-signed tight end Daniel Fells on Wednesday. Per club policy, terms of the deal were not disclosed. Fells became a restricted free agent last Friday. The tight end caught 21

Ravens re-sign WR Mason >>
Owings Mills, MD (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - The Baltimore Ravens have agreed in principle on terms of a two-year contract with veteran wide receiver Derrick Mason. Mason became an unrestricted free agent after his five-year contract with t

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FOOTBALL TRASH TALK

Trash talk has a place in every competitive endeavor (except baseball; those stirrup-wearers are too busy chewing on their sunflower seeds and their supplements to worry about what their opponents are doing).

Fantasy sports is no exception. Any intelligent discussion of the subject would probably start with a thesis statement or a definition of terms. Thankfully, this wont be an intelligent discussion.

Let me just say that I am happy to take a place in this space alongside my talented colleagues, even our commissioner. (You should see how she bleats like a demented paper boy about league fees on our fantasy site).

Trash talking, I would argue, is primarily about amusing your friends, their sheeplike demeanors and sloping foreheads notwithstanding. The best place I have found for football trash talking is at www.SportsAlarm.com.

Beyond the entertainment factor, though, I would recognize that the sophomoric ritual has one advantage, when properly applied. It magnifies your fantasy triumphs and mitigates your fantasy failures by transforming the eventual point total into an afterthought. Winning makes it seem like your opponent really is a truss-owning, lapel-pin-wearing nitwit. And in defeat, trash talk can be the air bag to break the fall from your hyperbolic heights. The plug-necked yahoos on your team, you can say, will be sacking groceries by the end of the season.

The best trash talk, in my view, is layered and nuanced. And it doesnt focus only on your opponents team. It picks apart your opponent. The idea is to create a shock-and-awe-scale blizzard of nonsense, and the goal is to make your opponent drop his hands from his keyboard in exasperation.

What team does your opponent root for? Accuse a Giants fan of having a Joe Namath pillowcase. Wheres your opponent from? Give a look of concern no matter his reply, then say, I'll try to type slower for you next time. Is your opponent into politics? Label everyone a tax-and-spend corporate shill.

Cap all that with a liberal application of irrelevance. For instance, dont just conclude by saying your opponent is a twerp who drafts like my grandmother. Say that your opponent is a sweater-wearing, eyebrow-plucking twerp who drafts his team about as well as Zsa Zsa Gabor gave acceptance speeches at the Oscars. By the time your foe makes sense of that, his starting running back will have had puppies.

But what about you? Hmm? Recall a memorable slam? Have a tried-and-true technique? Know someone who seems impervious to insult? Take a moment and tells us about it. Put together some (fit-for-publication) thoughts. You wont be too busy returning phone messages from your friends, Im sure, to reply.

In addition to the trash talking, the Sports Alarm has a huge gallery of high resolution pictures of beautiful women and models in bikinis. The most popular models are: Lindsay Lohan, Carrie Underwood, Alessandra Ambrosio, and Paris Hilton.